Bonapoo (Bonaroo 2015 as I experienced it)

Bonnapoo (Bonaroo 2015)

When I saw Florence and the machine in concert with my family in 2012, we had second row seats in a nice air-conditioned Fox theater in Detroit. On the way to Bonnaroo in 2015, I started worrying that we would see her at the back of a big sweaty mosh pit full of stoned patrons in a farmers field in Tennessee. 

But it was unrealistic of me to expect it to be that much fun. Of course I jest.. the open air venue holds fond memories for me. 

On the upside, I saw a lot of great concerts, and discovered some great bands that I either did not know or were far better than I realized, such as Bleacher and Gary Clark, Jr. My fiancé, my niece, my sisters and their husbands all agreed; we were glad we did it, and most of us are unsure if we would do it again or not. 

Usually I abhor gas station bathrooms and strenuously avoid public restrooms in general. After four days of outhouses at Bonnaroo I stop at a gas station on the way home. The mildly dirty rest room with stains and toilet paper on floor and brown stains on the lid looked four-star to me after a week at Tennessee Woodstock. At Bonnaroo, the rows of outhouses were personal challenges to concert goers; how far above the lid can we mound the human excrement?  The toilet paper, on the rare occasions it existed, served as a sort of glue to hold the mound together. When we went to relieve ourselves, we would refer to it as needing to take a bonnapoo. I do understand; a town with a normal population of 10,00 that swells to 85,000 annually does not have the infrastructure to handle the surge for one week out of the year. None the less, the waste management was deplorable. Our favorite bank of outhouses (a phrase I never imagined I would ever say) went bad the first night. Cathy noticed the rivers and puddles outside of it … after a week of drought, and no running water nearby. I watched a parade of women in sandals walk through it, getting their free e.coli pedicures. On the upside, I am not aware of any food poisoning or e. coli epidemics associated with the event.

The staff were universally rude and 90% of the time they either did not know the answer to even the simplest questions or gave the wrong answers. More often, they gave the wrong answers, in an air of blowing us off. This of course, led to recurrent episodes of walking 45 minutes instead of 5, to get to the right stage, the right campground, or shop.  (Excepting the head shops in easy-up tents. Those were everywhere.) The deplorable service created a great sense of community within the patrons, as we had to rely on each other to find answers and solutions. The camaraderie of the attendees was fun and almost made up for the Bonnapoo staff. 

I walked so many miles I ended up with three layers of blisters on my feet. I could have used a skin graft. But there were “taxis;” college kids driving golf cars. However, some of the Taxi drivers … well … maybe they were likely making too many personal purchases at the head shops. There was one driver in particular I caught a ride with who was incredibly aggressive. We drove through throngs of people, like you see on movies in India. This particular driver kept yelling at the crowd to “get to the right,” while pointing to her right. The oncoming pedestrians obeyed, moving to their right. And this made her madder. I even said, eventually “ummm, you know they are moving to THEIR right, right?” Which also made her mad. About that time, she actually pinned one poor fellow who was trying to cooperate, between the cart and a food truck. 

On the other hand, it was memorable. There were countless people in outrageous costumes, many dozens of topless women with painted breasts (a few did not bother with the paint), people carrying hilarious flagstaffs as a beacon for their groups. Hula hoopers, belly dancers, and spontaneous outbreak of harmless goofiness all made the event fun, and numbed the mind from the negative aspects. 

Most importantly, there was tons of great music. I am glad I went, I probably will not return. And yet it was one of the fondest memories of my life, a truly unique experience for me. It is something that in retrospect we as a family talk and laugh about but never bemoan, having by now all but forgotten the Bonapoo aspect of the experience. So if you are young, have lots of energy, don’t mind human body odor and random excrement… go!  You will see a lot of amazing bands, and possibly make new friends, and at least bond further with the friends and family who accompany you.